HOW TO PROPERLY CONTROL YOUR ANGER
Of what use is anger when the same end can be aimed at by reason, Do you suppose that a hunter is angry with the beast he kills, anger is an emotion that everyone experience at some point in the lies, there are difficult eyes in which anger manifest and also different ways to handle it, some people throw temper tantrum when they don’t get their way or those respond with anger when they’re in danger and the respectable amount of people cling to the idea of being wronged which result in a form.of anger that’s only consumed by us, also known as resentment in this state, would like to talk about anger the dangers of anger and some suggestions on how to deal with it from a stoic and Buddhist perspective, even though anger is natural, we cannot deny that the consequences of unrelent and uncontrolled anger can be devastating it’s not uncommon that anger leads to murder and history has taught us. That deeply noted anger also caused hate and Lead to mess violence and even genocide.
Though many people justify anger calling it righteous anger but when I have solid reason to be angry, also people see anger as a functional emotion that assist us in asserting ourselves and in self defense and Aristotle declared anger as a desire to repay suffering, we can also see anger as a firm of energy and when harvested in a right way it can help us to attain our goals, stoic philosopher Seneca, however channeled it is critical to watch the validity of thus claims, telling us that anger is a form of madness, “for it is equally devour of self-controlling, regardless of decorum, forgetful of kinship, abstinately engrossed in whatever it begins to do, defeat to reason and advice, exited by drifting cause, awkward at perceiving what is due and just and very Like a falling rock which breaks itself to pieces upon the very thing which it crushes.
There’s a Buddhist story that challenge is the notion of righteous anger by telling us about a young boy who had a bad temper, his father was concerned about this but instead of fighting anger with anger, he gave the boy a bag of nails and hammer, then he told him to hammer a nail in the fence, but when the days passed, the daily amount of nails decreased, until the day cane when the boy didn’t lose his temper for once.
He proudly told his father who gave the son the instruction to pull out a nail anytime he was able to suppress his temper, finally the day cane when all nails were pulled out, the father showed thevsy the fence and said, well done my son.
However I want you to look closely at the fence, it’s full of holes which means that it has being charged forever, when you let anger our it will leave scars, you can stick a knife in someone and pull it out but no matter how often you apologize the scars will be there forever.
Even when we may seem to have a very good reason to be angry which is basically a sense of being wronged and violated, we only risk to do further damage especially to ourselves, if we throw our ability to reason in the gutter and let our emotions take over, when reason ends, anger begins, now there are many different forms of anger, there’s rage, resentment, bitterness, harshness and temporary anger that last a few minutes and the long term anger that last a full year.
The Buddhist monk distinguished the two types of anger, hot anger and cold anger. The first type of anger is the one that figuratively speaking sets one’s place on fire,the second type of anger is the one that’s internalized and repressed and can be carried along for years and eats one up inside according to Seneca, we should not confuse human anger with aggression we see in animals, him and anger is based on flawed reasoning while animal aggression is based on impulses, a fundamental difference between animals and humans is our ability to reason. Seneca doubts the usefulness of anger for humanity by explaining the nature of anger, compared to the nature of man “yet what is more savage against them than anger? Mankind is born fit mutual assistance, anger for mutual ruins: the former lives society, the latter ensnarement. The oneloves to do good, the other to do harm, the one To Help even strangers, the other to attack even it’s dearest friends, the one is ready even to sacrifice itself for the good if others, the other to plunge into peril provided it drags others with it.
Now is anger useful? Both Buddhist and stoic ideas agree on one point, anger is not useful, the Dalai Lama pointed this out in his book, a policy if kindness stating that anger is not necessary when we have the power of reason and over when we resort to using force, we probably didn’t have good reason to do so.
If there’s sound reason or bases for the points of demands, then there is no need to use violence on the other hand, when there is no sound reason that concession should be made to you but mainly your own desire than reason cannot work and you have to rely on force, thus, using force us not a sigh if strength but rather a sign of weakness.
Therefore, when we’re about to throw a tantrum, it’s always good to ask ourselves the following questions, am. I doing this from a place of power or from a place of powerlessness.
According to Seneca, there’s nothing reason cannot do what anger can, in his book, he makes a distinction between using force, many people believe that using force goes together with anger and that going angry can somehow assist them, in their use of force, but Seneca compared Ange to drunkenness’.
In a battle, angry fighters have no control over their movements like drunks, eventually they’re lack of reasoning leads to defeat. But for intelligent opponent, it isn’t led by anger.
So what can we do about this, well anger comes in different stages, it might start with a light in actions that builds up to one angry outburst, when the latter is the case, then it’s too late.
Seneca argues that in order to remedy anger, we should become aware of it and Jr’s stages and apply antidote while it’s still small, that which is deceased can never bear to be handled without complaining.
It’s best therefore to apply remedies to oneself as soon as we feel that anything is wrong to allow oneself as little license as possible in speech. And to restrain one’s impetuosity.
Now it’s easy to defect the first growth of our passion, the symptoms precede the disorder so it’s clear that the stoics prefer tranquility over anger and how do we achieve this, In Buddhism is well as stoic sources, we’ll fujf different approaches and ideas that can help to kick anger in the curb.
A very important one is patience which accordingly to Seneca is a product of reason.
The throw believed patience is actually as important Buddhist doctrine called impermeable, everything is influx and what’s happening in this moment will soon be the past, not only the third that we’re upset about, but will lose their significance, then the feeling of anger will start to subside, that’s why courting then is an excellent advice although in some cases it may be better to count to 100.
Another one is acknowledging that we are angry, this doesn’t mean that we act out, it’s just that we accept that the emotion is present in our body denying the fact that we’re angry. For example because we want to be goody goodies that never get angry, regardless of our true feelings we’ve fooling ourselves and the world around us..